So, November means snow (well, not in this part of Texas), the start of the holiday and shopping seasons, and the extra baggage for our annual guilt trips. You know, the g-trips I’m talking about: We’re suppose to give to the hungry, to the children, to the animals (those Sarah Mclaughlin save-the-abused-animals commercials make me cry … here, little sad doggie, take my money, please), and let’s not forget, to the retailers. ‘Cause some of those stores give a percentage of your funds (or hey, just donate this dollar or five and get your name on a cut-out) to charitable causes.
I’m a sucker. Well, I’m less of a sucker than I used to be, but still, I require intervention on occasion. I try to be apathetic. I do. Y’see, I was the one who, upon her first visit to Venice Beach years ago, drew the religious dudes in robes right to her with their flowers and literature (that just cost a small fee) … despite the ex-husband’s attempts to steer me away. I was raised an Okie and we are NICE. I was also the one who would go into freaking debt to help out those door-knocking, pretty, oh-so-sincere “college” students get to Tahiti (for missionary work or something) by buying magazines or a series of educational materials that only cost a few hundred measly dollars. And yes, I’ve stood on my porch and gotten roped into religious conversations with people trying to sell me on their concept of God.
Before the Do Not Call list, I got suckered on my own freaking phone. I bought photography sessions, baby shoe bronzing sessions, and yeah … magazine subscriptions. And the charities? Lord-a-mercy. Do you know how many times I gave to the police charities just ’cause hel-lo they were the police! It was protection money, right?
Nowadays, I don’t have a problem saying no. Usually. Sometimes, I have to throw my friends under the bus to protect myself. This happened last May when the BFFs were in downtown Dallas. We were all going to a fancy dinner together and were walking toward the restaurant. Some dude selling souvenir papers about the Kennedy assassination strolled toward our group. Renee was right behind me, and I veered. On purpose. Wham! She was trapped. I’m a bad friend, but at least I didn’t spend $5 on a souvenir newspaper.
So, yeah. I’ve learned to say no. People occasionally come to my door trying to sell stuff and I have no guilt issues with saying, “No, thanks.” The trick, I’ve found, is to smile and when you’ve suckered THEM into thinking they’ve got you, you say NO! and shut the damned door as quickly as possible.
I don’t think anyone likes to be guilt-tripped into giving to charities we didn’t choose or buying products we don’t want. I guess we all have fallen into that trap, and then we have guilt because we got suckered. Sometimes, it’s difficult to maintain that balance between being kind and being true to our own values and needs. It’s easier online because we can ignore emails, links (like the ones below, heh), and blog advice.
Because I’m also a sucker for animals, I like to donate to Best Friends. Another animal charity I just discovered is called Puppies Behind Bars. Dudes. Check out the site. Prisoners train service puppies for the disabled, law enforcement, the elderly, and injured soldiers.
I mentioned shopping earlier because ’tis the freaking season, you know? I do a lot of my retail therapy online, and I discovered a site called Ebates. It’s free. It works like this: When you go shopping, go to Ebates, log in and use their links to go to your favorite stores. After you make your purchases, you get a percentage of the sales back. As in: Ebates sends you a check. Hey, if you’re gonna spend money on all things Christmas, you might as well get a little something-something back. This link (and the one above) is a tell-a-friend link, which means Ebates rewards me if you use it to sign up and use their services. I don’t care if you do. I’m just throwing it out there.
Last week, we had a rousing discussion about deodorant. The party is here, people. Obviously. Several comments mentioned Dove, and a couple days ago, I got an email offer for free sample of Dove shampoo. If the Dove deodorant is good for your pits, the shampoo is probably great for your hair. If you want to get the freebies, too, click here.
It probably hasn’t escaped your attention that I waited until the end of the post to announce the winner of TEMPEST RISING. Heh. Thanks to the random number generator, the winner is: Stacey Smith. CONGRATS!
This week I’m giving away new releases from friends and fellow Leaguers: BITE MARKS by Jennifer Rardin and HOT SPELL by Michelle Rowen. One lucky commenter will win both, and I’ll even ask the ladies to send you book plates.
So, share: What the worst thing you’ve ever been suckered into? And/or what’s your favorite charity?
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 am
Hi Michele
Thanks for sharing!
I am nice too but I luckily I haven’t been roped into donating or buying anything I haven’t wanted. My favorite charity is our local United Way.
Plus I really like the Hospital raffle tickets that help buy new equipment & patients.
Love & Best Wishes,
RKCharron
xoxo
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 am
I too am a sucker. I often get caught in the street person/ homeless here let me make a gift for you out of something I’ve found scam. I don’t know how to say no to them. I get caught because they are so personable, they don’t use selling language, and I’m a sucker. My husband is trying to help me learn to see and avoid them, but I still manage to fall for it occasionally. The last time was just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, or luckily, I didn’t have any change with me. So, I ended up with a flower made of plam tree pieces and the poor guy was out some trash.
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:12 am
Hey, RK. Glad to see you stopped by! You ARE lucky not to have been suckered. Thanks for sharing your fave charities.
Mandy, I’ve done that, too. I’ve purchased stuff from deaf people … you know, the ones who carry those little cards saying “I’m Deaf” so you buy the little calendars or page of stickers. I once bought an “angel” crafted out of a small light bulb and some lace from a bag lady.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 am
Oh, Michele, I am so a sucker for a sad story.
Last week went out for a bite with friends after work on Milwaukee’s fashonable and trendy eastside. As we were waiting for the light to change, a ratty dressed dude came up to us about needed money for car repairs to get his sick kid to the doctor. Since he himself was standing on the corner right in front of a very large clinic (why he was there and the kid was elsewhere, we’ll never know), we gave him a few bucks and thanked him for his excellent and entertaining story.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:20 am
I think the worst time was the guy ‘trying to buy gas so he could go visit his brother before his brother got posted to Iraq’. Thinking about it later, I realized that the guy was probably scamming me, but at least I got a good feeling out of it for a little while.
The guy that had the sign ‘too stupid to steal & too ugly to prostitute’ got a package of pop-tarts. If I’d had any bills smaller than a $20, I would have given him cash. As it was, he seemed pretty happy to get food.
I finally learned some techniques for handling panhandlers: ‘oh you need money for food? No problem, I’ll go buy some food’. Or ‘need $5 for a taxi home? But the bus runs to that town for $2.’
For actual charities, my employer (the state of NC) has a campaign every year that you pick how much money & which charities. You can even have the money deducted from your paycheck. I can afford $5 from my paycheck easier than a large lump sum and the charity has an assured income for a year. It makes a huge difference when they’re trying to budget their money.
One of the charities I chose this year is Carolina Canines for veterans http://www.carolinacanines.org/ Prisoners in the Camp Lejeune brig raise & train service dogs for disabled veterans.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
The worst sucker I don’t even remember! I just got a letter in the mail after the holiday’s thanking me for my donation!
I’m always a sucker for the red kettles around the holidays. I like to pick angels off the local donation trees and buy stuff for the local kids. It’s kinda a 2for1 ’cause I usually buy the $5 book and $5 stuffed matching stuffed animal from kohls that supports another charity.
My fav charity has to be Second Chance Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. It is local to my community and cared for injured and orphaned wildlife. I kind think that is what we were originally put on the earth for anyway (a little religion there)… so more power to them to follow that path!
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:38 am
I can’t say no to anything involving the police, fire, or armed forces. I love giving to blue star mothers because my brother is in the navy. I also got “locked up” for MDA this year. It was fun, but alot of work. We just have to learn to say no every now and then.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:42 am
I did buy magazines, but it was from the school children in the neighborhood. I learned very rapidly that the kids didn’t get anywhere near the amounts that they were promised and that I could buy the magazines I wanted a lot more cheaply by other means. That’s been years ago now, and it frightens me when I think of how much I could have spent on some of these things. Am instructing one of my grandchildren now–he is also too willing to ‘contribute’ to worthy causes, but once I did some investigating on one of them, he has become a little more suspicious of their lines.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:55 am
Oh, don’t get me started on school fund raisers! Look, PTA, I’d rather give you a check directly than force my kid to sell crap. Only he can’t sell it, ’cause they’re not supposed to go door-to-door. That means Mom or Dad is stuck taking the sales guide to work (except I work at home and I’m the only employee)or sending out emails with links to the school store to their friends. And those prizes the kids are supposed to win? Total rip-offs.
I’ve also fallen for sob stories. And I’ve rewarded clever signage, too. I think I’d feel better giving money to someone who made me laugh than someone who made me feel guilty.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:59 am
It’s not a charity per se, but my mom likes to run education programs for disadvantaged kids near where we live in Turkey, and I really love working with them. They’re always so willing to learn, and watching them grow over the two or three weeks is incredible.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 am
Selling popcorn for a school fundraiser. It was so expensive I couldn’t get anyone to buy any.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
Isn’t it sad that the scams now outweigh the legitimate charities. That now when we do the right thing by trying to help someone else, there is a good chance that we are helping them to scam us and others. That the money we donate in good faith turns out to actually only be pennies on the dollar for the charities and the rest goes for “expenses” of the charities. Years ago I fell prey on a pretty constant basis. I was young and trusting. As the years go by my skin became a hide and it was no longer easy to lure me in. I became a cynic. Sad, I know – but necessary in today’s world.
School fundraiser now top my list. We have alway bought from the little kids coming to the door, especially the neighborhood kids. After all, we had 1 more at home that would eventually be doing the same thing – we thought we would help our neighbors and then when our child’s turn came – they would step up and help….Big freakin’ NO – when our daughter started the rounds, neighbors just didn’t have the money, the time to listen. So who ended up having to buy multiple things – yep that’s right- good ole mama! Scammed by my own little angel…..hehehe
I will give to animal charities: HSUS; local humane socities and shelters. We adopted 1 of our kitties from NRH Humane Shelter and the other from a wonderful orginization calleds
“Little Orphan Angels”…no kill group…Love ‘em.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:39 am
I donate, I always have, but it is getting harder and harder any more. The causes I have donated to for years will call me several times a month even after I have given. I have started giving mostly through my grandchildren’s school functions and my local communities.
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:20 pm
My fave charity is Breast Cancer Awareness and I give, buy on the greater good network as it gives free mammograms to women who can’t afford them.
I also am a sucker for when the kids come home with all the fundraiser stuff with puppy dog eyes saying please…yeah I do it. Then their friends come and they give you the puppy dog eyes and gee’s I have known them for all my kids life and theres and I can’t say no. Then there’s the Heart Association where you mail to the neighbors and then mail it all back to them, and they always tell you how much your help means and how they appreciate you, gee’s.
Momma always said I wore my heart right there on my shoulder, guess they can see it thru the bloody phone too! lol
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I am a sucker for all animal causes. I haz the tee shirts tote-bags. You have to stick up for the fur babies that need you ya know…
I am a big school sucker! I am getting my 2 boxes of apple dumplings on Wed. Dude if you havn’t ever had the apple dumplings.. sigh.. go forth and order. Yummy hot sweetness.
Ohhh please enter me! I just bought the first Jaz Parks book. Looks like a good series.
And I love all Michlles books. I just finished Tall Dark & Fangsome.. twas very good.
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
It isn’t that I get suckered into most things. I’m good at saying no…but the Humane Society gets me everytime. I donate monthly and they would always call, saying “can’t you add just a couple more dollars to your monthly donation?” I’m currently unemployed so no, I really can’t, if I want to keep feeding the cats I have…
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
My fave is the Shriners because my son was helped by them when he was a baby.But when they have their drive they hit me up going in a store and when I am coming out of the same store. I know the remember me because I have to fumble with my cane and purse to get them some money out. I always give but when you get hit up 7 or 8 times in one day, that is a little to much.
Julie S.
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:02 pm
My favorite charity is anything involving animals and animal rescue, like the North Shore Animal League and Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.
I’m not usually suckered into anything that I really don’t want, even though I’m nice & polite and can be wimpy sometimes.
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm
I’m mostly suckered into things involving my kids. They just KNOW how to get my mom guilt going so I give in. Kills me! Though I was just like you until I finally learned to say no with a smile:)
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:36 am
So far I have been lucky enough or cynical enough not to get suckered into too much money wise. Although really who doesnt love a good sale, and if its buy one get one free, hello I am getting 2 at half price each…
My favorite charity this year is United Animal Nations – http://www.uan.org/index.cfm?navid=27
“Through its volunteer-driven Emergency Animal Rescue Service (EARS), UAN shelters and cares for animals displaced by natural disasters and other crises, such as criminal seizures and hoarding cases, in the United States and Canada.”
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:38 am
Hey Michele,
I’m a total sucker for products that say will revolutionize your life but really you end up coughing up the cash for something that inevitably just sits and gathers dust on the shelf (cough…Juicer). WTF was I thinking?
One of the charities that I like to support is our local Food Bank, I just think it’s so very important to make sure that the people in our own communities are taken care of as well as others in countries that may need our help. I sometimes feel that in the effort to be helpful to countries that require help, we tend to let the people within our country slip through the cracks.
Happy Reading!
Anna
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:04 am
worst thing i was ever suckered in to would have to be playing on the merrigo round drunk needless to say itdidnt go over well
one time a sales lady suckered me in to buying these overallls cause she told me theyd make my butt look small sad part is they did cause they were huge but hey what can you do they had a no return policy so i stuck with it i didnt return
my favorit charty is St Judes and any cancer research one really i had a cousin whos now in remission who benifitted from st judes so its one i support whole heartily
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I keep erasing my comment somehow. I hope I am erasing them and not publishing partial comments! If I have I am really sorry! Let me try this again! I am really excited that the authors you are featuring have books coming out! My favorite causes are The Autistic Society and Special Olympics. My daughter is autistic. With Autism on the rise you will probably know some one with an Autistic child. Get the facts at Autism Speaks.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Michele,
I just wanted to say that I just started reading your Broken Heart series….. I am totally addicted, Patrick O’Halloran can suck my blood anytime!
Anyway, moving on from my paranormal vampire fanaticizes…. I too am the biggest sucker for anyone calling my house and asking for money. My downfall is those damn cute little Girl Scouts selling their evil calorie ridden cookies. Not only am I buying like 20 boxes of cookies to eat in one sitting, I’m also gaining 20 lbs in the process.
Gotta love those cute little Girl Scouts. Thanks for the chance to win.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Holy crap I have SUCKER written somewhere on me I swear. They call and I’m all buying the 52 yrs subscription to magazines that aren’t even printed in English and then you know the kids going door to door they all come by my house and don’t get me started on the pixi stick selling abused woman’s shelter people at the stop lights…sigh! It’s sad I get stuck talking to the Jehovah Witness too. And Sarah’s commercial is evil! That and the Folgers Christmas commercial when bobby or whatever his name is comes home for the holidays. Oh wait was there a question or something I was supposed to answer…hmph…oh well…sigh
November 4th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Biggest sucker!!! I was working with a local vet nursing baby kittens that didn’t have mama’s and had dozens that I was bottle feeding for him. After months, I contacted the vet to see when he was getting homes for them and he told me that it was my job to do that and then he sends me a bill for their vet checks and shots!!! I buy everything from everyone, take in stray kids, dogs, birds, cats, cover any shift at work, spend my money decorating our office for holidays and then get criticized for my decorating skills!!!!! Just buy me lollipops for Christmas!!!
November 5th, 2009 at 2:55 am
Haha. Love the suckering them in trick. Very helpful. My family and I hide when we see the religious people coming down our (long) driveway. They knock for a few minutes, look in the window then have to trudge back up. Funny as!
I try to avoid getting suckered in though but half the time I find myself shelling out too much for too little with no idea what I just ‘donated’ to. It’s not a good feeling.
Thanks for the awesome comp!
Becca
November 5th, 2009 at 10:36 am
I too tend to be a sucker. The bell ringer at WalMart tends to get me both when I go in and come out. I try to sneak in or out in a crowd so that they don’t double tap me but they often get me twice. My favorite people at the door are the Girl Scouts or any church organization that sells Krispy Kreme Donuts. They get me every time. My hips just love ‘em.
November 5th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I have been guilted into donating to many causes and have learned to say thank you, but no. My favorite charities are CASA in San Antonio and Rape Crisis. Those two areas really tug at my heart and I have regularly donated to them from work.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:23 am
I can’t say no to those people standing on the streets…I always feel so sorry for them. but the worst thing ever would have to be the time share we bought when we went on one of those ‘free’ vacations to save money. Never once used it I don’t really like the hotel chain that houses the time share options and I’m really not a beach type.
November 6th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
My favorite charity is ST JUDE.. I can’t stand to see children in pain…
Worst thing I was suckered into: was buying into “Forecloseures” and it cost me dearly.. The info you had to learn blew my mind…. LOL of course since I am a Sr Citizen It does not take alot to blow my mind.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I used to get suckered into giving when I was younger, but the older I got (and boy I’m old now) I wised up. I choose the charities I want to give to and just don’t answer the door if someone rings the bell, so much easier than saying no
)
Two of my favorite charities are ASPCA and USO. I also give to my local newspaper’s charity efforts.
November 14th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
i take all the kids outgrowed clothes to red cross or hospice
November 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I donate used clothes and other things I don’t use any more to a local goodwill type store.
November 16th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Hi Michele,
The worst thing I was ever suckered into was a pyramid scheme. I was only 18 at the time and very naive at the time. my favorite charity is a local one. I mentor mentally challenged teens, and offer them cooking classes and we raise money for enrichment programs.
November 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am
I would have to say first my favorite charity is, Southwest Transplant Alliance. This group is close to my heart, you do not give money if you don’t have it but, to have people sign up to be organ and tissue donors. I have always been an organ donor but until my daughter at the age of 2 needed a liver transplant it was just their now I try to be there for other families who need the support.
As for the worst things I have been suckered into it is mainly people on the side of the road by Children’s Medical Center Dallas when I take my daughter to her doctors appointments. My favorite scam was a guy holding a sign that said, “Will wash windows for money for BEER”, I laughed and gave the guy a $5.00 at least he was honest about what her was spending the money on.